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 Just like his Dad...

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Ian
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PostSubject: Just like his Dad...   Mon Dec 20, 2010 1:56 pm

Today, as I always do, I went off to pick up my little one from school. cheerfully he came running out of his classroom, schoolbag under his arm, his uniform in the ritual state of disarray. Basically just another day.
I was just making him look presentable, tucking his shirt in when his class teacher approached me and asked if she could have a word. Naturally all sorts of things were going through my mind. My lad is the most innocent little kid you could ever want to meet. I've never had to smack him, hes got exemplary manners. In fact, and I know this is going to sound a bit biased because hes my son, he is the perfect child. You couldnt ask for a better kid.
So when the teacher pulls me to one side and asks to have a word, I am naturally a bit concerned. Perhaps he's being bulied at school, or perhaps he's looked a bit down and under the weather.
Well, anyway, we went into the classroom, and the little lad was sent into a corner to colour whilst daddy has a word with his teacher.
Imagine my surprise when she told me that she'd had to tell him off for using really bad language and that it wasnt the first time she'd had to tell him. She was getting concerned that perhaps he was picking up bad language out in the playground, and that perhaps I could have a word with him and see where he's learning such profanities.
Well, as you can imagine. I was absolutely gobsmacked. My sweet little lad, using bad language. NO WAY..
I protested to the teacher that she must be mistaken. My lad wouldnt do that. Hes not the sort of kid. He knows better. But she was adamant. I still wasnt convinced.
So, by this time, with curiosity getting the better of me, I asked her to tell me what he had said. Little did I realise just what she was going to come out with, and at this point I began looking around for the biggest hole that I could possibly find, one that I could leap into.
Apparantly the lad had been playing inside that break time because it was raining, and they were playing a card game. I couldnt tell you what it was, perhaps SNAP or something along those lines, but by all accounts it was a card game for children. At some stage my little lad had lost some cards and had turned to his opponent with real venom in his eyes and yelled out at the top of his voice "HOW COULD YOU DO THAT YOU F**KING DONKEY"
Well.. By the time the teacher had finished reeling off his other expletives "YOUR A F**KING MUPPET", "YOU CANT EVEN SPELL THE WORD LET ALONE F**KING PLAY IT". I was in a state of panic. In fact I was beyond being in a state of panic. I was shitting bricks.
How the hell was I going to explain this one to the wife, and more importantly, I was now expected to go and reprimand the little bugger. what the hell was I going to say to him, because I know PRECISELY where hes got it from, and I know precisely whos said it...
So, making a form of apology, and trying to hide my obvious discomfort, I grabbed the lad and got him out of there sharpish. On the way home, I asked him what he'd been saying to his schoolfriends. He repeated word for word what the teacher told me he had said.
I then had to do the "but you mustn' say those things. They are really really naughty". And the response.. well you can imagine what it was. "But daddy.. You say it all the time"
BINGO.. I was then stumped. I couldnt answer him. I knew he was right. I do.. I am the worlds worst for it. I go mad at the monitor as if the villain somewhere in the outer reaches of Bulgaria can somehow hear me.
Anyhow, I explained to him that daddy was very naughty, and that just because daddy is naughty it doesnt mean he has to copy. He shouldnt say those things and if he hears daddy saying them again he's to come and tell me off.
After a few sweets as a means of blackmail to make sure he didnt tell his mother, we got home, and had tea. all was well, till I logged onto the internet and proceeded to take part in a freeroll. About ten minutes later I've got AA.. I raise, get re-raised. I re-raise again, he shoves I call. Lo and behoild he's only got 9 4 suited. Yeah you know it dont you. He hits the flush on the river...
The red mist descends. I look deep into the screen and at the top of my voice start to shout
"YOU STUPID F**KING....." at which point my little lad comes running into the dining room and looks at me dead straight faced. He puts his hands on his hips and says "daddy... you said that if you used those words again I had to tell you off..."
"I know son" I mumbled, knowing he was right again....
"thats OK daddy" says my lad.. "I wont tell mummy this time.. But if you do it again I am gonna tell her and she'll punch your F**KING lights out.."

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yeahbaby
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Mon Dec 20, 2010 5:03 pm

LMAO...that is freaking priceless Ian.
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Mon Dec 20, 2010 6:53 pm

Awe thats funny lolo
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Tue Dec 21, 2010 12:04 am

lol haha i dont even know what to say lol that was hilarious
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Tue Dec 21, 2010 1:08 pm

That is some funny shit ad true in most of us online poker players i do it alot or dang the desk.

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chemist
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Tue Dec 21, 2010 7:48 pm


That is why I now say Fu-crying out loud.

It really works once you get used to adding the 'crying out loud' it starts to become second nature.

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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Wed Dec 22, 2010 5:49 am

LOL, that is hilarious Ian...
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POKARZ
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Fri Dec 24, 2010 3:57 pm

LOL, funny stuff Ian Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Mon Dec 27, 2010 8:23 am

lmao great story to start the morning...I always knew i wasnt the only one
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Mon Dec 27, 2010 1:43 pm

kids say the darndest things dont they? sad but true but funny as all get out.
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Mon Dec 27, 2010 4:35 pm

... Sky's first words are gonna be "fuckin donkey", I can see it already lol
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Mon Dec 27, 2010 11:13 pm

LMAO...



lol! Mine use "Idiot" & "Moron" as well...

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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Thu Jan 13, 2011 10:47 pm

They are like a friggin tape recorder, those little ones.

Lost on my AA today to a k2 offsuit, when a river 2 gave my opponent a fullhouse.
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Mon Jan 17, 2011 3:00 pm

lol that was really funny. When did you become a good writer Ian?
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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Tue Jan 18, 2011 9:07 pm

sportserh wrote:
lol that was really funny. When did you become a good writer Ian?

Writing college, after failing to graduate from poker school.

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PostSubject: Re: Just like his Dad...   Tue Jan 18, 2011 11:37 pm

LMAO

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PostSubject: Just like his Dad...    Wed Jan 19, 2011 1:47 pm

Thanks for the laugh, my girlfriend can't believe it too, she heard me yell across the whole house one time, came to check on me thought I got into some tragic accident. she always tells me to fold its so easy for her to tell me that. But she doesn't get it. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.
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