WWW.POKERJOKERZ.COM
YOU ARE REQUIRED TO LOG IN TO VIEW THIS FORUM.

WWW.POKERJOKERZ.COM


 
HomeChatroomFAQUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Ian
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 516
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 47
Location : United Kingdom

PostSubject: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:14 am

An old man takes his wife to the doctor as she's been suffering from strange symptoms that he has no idea what they could be.


The doctor gives her a full examination, but he too seems perplexed. He calls the husband into a side room and explains

"well I don't know what is exactly wrong with her, but I think I've narrowed it down to one of two things. She either has Alzheimers disease, or she's got AIDS"

"OH GOD" moans the old man.. "how the hell are we going to find out which it is"

"oh thats easy" replies the Doctor " Take her on the bus and drop her off three miles outside town. If she remembers her own way back for gods sake don't shag her"
Back to top Go down
http://pokerjokerz.forum-phpbb.co.uk
Ian
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 516
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 47
Location : United Kingdom

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Thu Oct 28, 2010 4:18 am

Little Johny is walking home one day when a man in a large car pulls up alongside him.

"hello Little boy" he whispers.. "if I give you a sweet will you come in my car"

Johny smiles and says

"Give me the whole packet and I'll come in your mouth"
Back to top Go down
http://pokerjokerz.forum-phpbb.co.uk
hassan200100
NEWCOMER
NEWCOMER
avatar

Posts : 22
Join date : 2010-11-16
Age : 29
Location : Germany- Berlin

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:01 pm

Good Boy

Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
Back to top Go down
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001431008272
hassan200100
NEWCOMER
NEWCOMER
avatar

Posts : 22
Join date : 2010-11-16
Age : 29
Location : Germany- Berlin

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Wed Nov 17, 2010 2:02 pm

Nest and Hair
My sister, a primary school teacher, was informed by one of her pupils that a bird had built its nest in the tree outside the classroom.
"What kind of bird?" my sister asked.
"I didn't see the bird, ma' am, only the nest," replied the child.
"Then, can you give us a description of the nest?" my sister encouraged her .
"Well, ma'am, it just resembles your hair.
Back to top Go down
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001431008272
isohatedis
REGULAR
REGULAR
avatar

Posts : 84
Join date : 2010-11-16

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:08 am

went to charity disco last week in aid of women born without legs,the dancefloor was crawling with fanny
Back to top Go down
isohatedis
REGULAR
REGULAR
avatar

Posts : 84
Join date : 2010-11-16

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:14 am

a blonde is telling her friend that she got a new deodorant stick today."the instructions said REMOVE CAP AND PUSH UP BOTTOM,i can barely walk,but whenever i fart the room smells lovely"
Back to top Go down
isohatedis
REGULAR
REGULAR
avatar

Posts : 84
Join date : 2010-11-16

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:20 am

if you think life is bad.how would you like to be an egg?you only get laid once,you only get smashed once!it takes 4 minutes to get hard but only 2 to get soft!you share your box with 5 other guys!but worst of all.the only chick that sat on your face was your mother
Back to top Go down
isohatedis
REGULAR
REGULAR
avatar

Posts : 84
Join date : 2010-11-16

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:28 am

what does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs?
a clit around the ear and a flap across the face
Back to top Go down
isohatedis
REGULAR
REGULAR
avatar

Posts : 84
Join date : 2010-11-16

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Thu Nov 18, 2010 12:37 am

little johnny got a new bike for christmas and was out cycling around the place when a cop horse stopped him and said"did santa get you that bike for christmas?""yes officer"replied johnny.to which the cop replied"well next year tell him put lights on it and fined him £5"as the cop was going away little johnny asked the cop "did santa get you that horse?"the cop chuckling to himself says yes.little johnny says "well tell him the dick is supposed to be under the horse not on top of it"
Back to top Go down
Mrgreene
Moderator
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 140
Join date : 2010-10-10
Age : 42
Location : Kansas City

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Thu Nov 18, 2010 9:25 am

Their was 3 sailors 1 black 1 white and 1 chinese and they argued and faught ova every thing while on the ship
so time came when the ship docked and they were3 the last 1's off the ship due to their arguements and also the last 1's to the bar
so when they got their all the local whores were gone except 1
so they started arguin over whos going first with her and she had to step in
and when she did she said
who ever can solve this riddle can go first
so the whiteman said IM FIRST!!!1 the woman says
if my pussy was lost in the deep blue sea what would become of me? so the white man said with a BIGGG smile on his face a mermaid!!! WRONGGGG! the whore said so the chinese jumped in front of the brotha and said me next repeat 4 me pls
So the hoe repeated it
if my pussi was lost in the deep blue sea what would become of me?
The asian said TUNA!!!TUNA!!! lol he just knew he was right but she yelled out WRONG!!
SO THATS WHEN THE BRUTHA WALKS UP TO HER AND TOLD HER lay it onme again mamma
so her at the point of giving up thinking this guy sure wont get it right she repeated the riddle: If my pussi was lost in the deep blue sea what would become of me
the brutha scratch his head and looked at the whore realllll goood and said :if that day would happen to passs i would slap my balls between my ass and use my dick as a safty ore and rolll yo pussi safe to sure lololololol

_________________
cheers MEMBERSHIP MODERATOR cheers
Back to top Go down
v010v01
NEWCOMER
NEWCOMER
avatar

Posts : 3
Join date : 2010-11-20
Age : 28
Location : MD

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Sat Nov 20, 2010 12:52 pm

A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked. "You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game." "How did you manage to do that?" "It wasn't easy, honest. I had to fold with a royal flush."
Back to top Go down
http://www.funny-games.biz
v010v01
NEWCOMER
NEWCOMER
avatar

Posts : 3
Join date : 2010-11-20
Age : 28
Location : MD

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Sat Nov 20, 2010 12:55 pm

A Trip to Las Vegas

A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you going?" demands the surprised husband. "To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 to do what I do for you for free!" The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $1000 a year!" Laughing
Back to top Go down
http://www.funny-games.biz
Ian
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 516
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 47
Location : United Kingdom

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Sat Nov 20, 2010 12:58 pm

v010v01 wrote:
A man came home from a poker game late one night and found his hideous harpy of a wife waiting for him with a rolling pin. "Where the hell have you been?" she asked. "You'll have to pack all your things, dear," he ad-libbed. "I've just lost you in a card game." "How did you manage to do that?" "It wasn't easy, honest. I had to fold with a royal flush."

Very Happy

_________________
You have to lead a Horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the river.
Back to top Go down
http://pokerjokerz.forum-phpbb.co.uk
Mrgreene
Moderator
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 140
Join date : 2010-10-10
Age : 42
Location : Kansas City

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:30 am

v010v01 wrote:
A Trip to Las Vegas

A man comes home to find his wife packing her bags. "Where are you going?" demands the surprised husband. "To Las Vegas! I found out that there are men that will pay me $500 to do what I do for you for free!" The man pondered that thought for a moment, and then began packing HIS bags. "What do you think you are doing?" she screamed. "I'm going to Las Vegas with you... I want to see how you're going to live on $1000 a year!" Laughing
silent

_________________
cheers MEMBERSHIP MODERATOR cheers
Back to top Go down
Ian
Admin
Admin
avatar

Posts : 516
Join date : 2010-10-08
Age : 47
Location : United Kingdom

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Wed Nov 24, 2010 3:43 am

Little Johny is walking home from school one day when a man pulls up in a car

"hello little boy" he says, leaning out the car window. "if I give you a sweet will you come in my car ?"

"Give me the whole packet" replies Johny, "and I'll come in your mouth"

_________________
You have to lead a Horse to water, but a Donkey will follow you all the way to the river.
Back to top Go down
http://pokerjokerz.forum-phpbb.co.uk
chemist
Moderator
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 367
Join date : 2010-10-14

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Wed Dec 08, 2010 11:02 am

God save the Queen

The Queen was visiting one of the top hospitals in Canada when she passed a room where a man was masturbating, she says what is the meaning of this.it is disgraceful. The doctor explains that it is a very serious condition and if he did not do this five times a day his testies would rupture and he would die.

The Queen said she was sorry and the tour continued and on the next floor the Queen passed a room where the patient was getting a blowjob from a young nurse. The Queen gasps what's going on here, the doctor replies same condition better health plan.

_________________
I am a mod and I am god
Back to top Go down
Guest
Guest



PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Wed Dec 08, 2010 11:19 am

Why are women like parking spaces?

Normally all the good ones are taken. So, occasionally, when no one's looking, u have to stick it in a disabled one.
Back to top Go down
TopJimmy99
REGULAR
REGULAR
avatar

Posts : 81
Join date : 2010-12-08
Age : 27
Location : United States

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Thu Dec 09, 2010 6:25 pm

A man is walking home past a lake on his way home when he sees a girl crying at the end of the dock. He walks up to her and notices she has no arms and no legs.

He walks up to her and asks "what's wrong?"

"I've never been hugged before' she says.

He hugs her, she stops crying, and he goes home. Then next day and shes still there, crying again.

"What's wrong now?" he says.

"I've never been kissed before" she says.

He kisses her and she stops crying, then he goes home. The next days she's there yet again... crying once more.

"What the hell's wrong now?!" he says.

"I've never been fucked before..." she says.

He picks her up and throws her into the lake and yells "THERE, NOW YOU'RE FUCKED!"
Back to top Go down
Aligator8841
LOYAL MEMBER
LOYAL MEMBER
avatar

Posts : 139
Join date : 2010-12-07

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Fri Dec 10, 2010 10:28 am

kinda sad but funny 1 TopJimmy
Back to top Go down
chemist
Moderator
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 367
Join date : 2010-10-14

PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   Wed Mar 02, 2011 3:33 pm

kaksteist kuud - Estonian 12 months













_________________
I am a mod and I am god
Back to top Go down
chemist
Moderator
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 367
Join date : 2010-10-14

PostSubject: Pull your Pants up when the cops pull you   Wed Mar 02, 2011 3:58 pm


Pull your Pants up when the cops pull you




_________________
I am a mod and I am god
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES   

Back to top Go down
 
RUDE / EXPLICIT JOKES
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Roland's Jokes
» Chess jokes
» Wow jokes by: Jub2
» Spy Cam
» A Commerce Student

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
WWW.POKERJOKERZ.COM :: OFF TOPIC :: Jokes and humour-
Jump to: